Scores for Saturday 7 August 2021

It seems I missed an eventful day of golf yesterday while I was away in the east of England. Thanks to those of you who contributed snippets for the report, it always makes this job more interesting to have something other than just scores to talk about. 

Firstly let's deal with the Andy Simpkin sideshow. According to my source Andy was nursing a hangover, Andy himself confirmed this fact when he was asked for comment on the day's action. It's a little way off his worst round but it seems he is not getting on yet with those new clubs. Hang on in there Andy, it will come back. 

Next we turn to bad boy Froud. It seems that Tony's personality changes when he put's on his wet weather gear. The gear in question which featured in this report a couple of weeks back, seems to turn tony into a foul mouthed, hip hop type. According to my source, Tony popped on the gear when it started raining and immediately said you Mother F**ker. We should check that this type of gear meets the club dress standard although I'm not sure that clothes that make you an angry young man with attitude are excluded.

Conversely Roger Gibbs is working on his inner calm, it apparently took 3 bad shots in a row to elicit an outburst telling the ball to go forth and multiply. This is massive progress for Roger who was previously known to curse before and after every shot. 

Peter Laurence nearly wiped out Martin Deery's group on the 15th tee today with a pulled tee shot off the 14th which ended up about 3ft from the tee. This was probably when he heard of Martin's joke on the first tee. The group were admiring the "woosh" sound of Duncan's practice swings then on his actual shot he "wooshed" a shot right into the woods. Martin Deery suggested "Careful what you woosh for!" 

Finally let me discuss the latest Steve Reynolds attempt at not being 2nd. Steve was 2 under gross walking off the 5th tee and still only one over par walking off the 10th but still only managed 2nd place. Steve suggested to me that this was due to the 3 out of the bunker on the 11th hole including a shot known as the Simpkin where you attempt to get out of the bunker but bounce the ball off the front of the bunker back over your own head and land in the bunker. Steve was laughing at Andy for treating him to this display only 7 days previously. Almost instant karma? I'll leave that to you to decide. Another source thinks the problems actually started for Steve on the 6th hole where he hit the ball into the long rough, a shot which started the unravelling of a round which was destined to be really good rather than great. The source attributed the wayward shot itself to none other than Martin Deery who asked Steve what he would do if his marker walked off after 9 holes, a destabilising question if every there was one. I was keeping an eye on scoring as I was having brunch and lunch-time cocktails and chatted Steve "nice front 9" and I honestly considered adding "I feel a 2nd place coming up" but did not want to distract him. Seems he didn't need me to distract him!

Birdies today for Coenraad (10) Steve (1, 3, 17) Pete Laurence (18) and Duncan Miller (18) well done all!

Well done all, the average gross score was 92 with only two rounds over 100 and the average stableford score of 30.57

Our winner today was in the lead on the turn with 21 on countback from Steve Reynolds but whereas Steve stuttered during the middle of his round, Coenraad posted 17 points on the back 9 to take the honours with 38 points. Well done Coenraad.

Steve (still the bridesmaid) Reynolds only managed 15 points on the back 9 making a total of 36 points. Well done Steve, it was still a really good round and most would be delighted with 79 gross. 

Roger Gibbs took the front 9 with 18 points demonstrating yet again that his handicap is justified despite his protestations. Well done Roger. 

Finally, Martin Deery took the back 9 with 20 points. Martin obviously was inspired by Steve Reynolds spectacular break-down. Well done Martin.