Who's the man? 8th June 2024


 


I am First. I am First. First I am.

That First I am! That First I am! I do not like that First I am!

 

Would you like to be the man?

I do not like to be the man.

I do not like it First I am.

 

Would you like it on the course?

I would not like it on the course.

I would not like to be first of course.

I do not like to be the man

I do not like it, First I am

 

Would you like it in the bar, to be the best man by far?

I would not like it in the bar.

I don’t want to be the best by far.

I do not like to be the man.

I do not like it, First I am.

 

Would you like it on the wall?

I would not like it on the wall.

I would not want to feel so tall.

I do not want to be the man.

I just don’t want it, First I am.

 

Would you like it on the shelf?

Would you like it for yourself?

Not on a shelf. Not for myself.

Not on the wall. Not feeling tall.

I would not want to be the man.

I would not want it, First I am.


Would you like it in a box?

Would you like it with a fox?

What fucking box? What fucking fox?

I do not want to be the man.

I fucking told you, First I am!

 

Would you, could you, with a cat?

Of course I wouldn’t with a cat.

Cat’s can’t play golf you silly twat!

Not on the course, not with a horse.

Not in a bar, or with a guitar.

Not on the shelf, or with an elf.

Not in a box. Not with a fox,

Not with a cat, don’t be a twat!

Not in the dark, not in a tree.

Not in a car! You let me be!

I do not like to be the man.

I do not like it, First I am.

 

Steve wins …..

 

Say! I like to be the man!

I would like it with a fox.

I could wear my winners socks!

I would like in the bar.

I am the bestist man by far!

I would like it with a cat.

I’m just the best and that is that.

I would like it on the course.

I’d kick your sorry ass with force!

I would like it with a whore.

I won’t a bridesmaid no more!

I would like it with a clown

And now I really need to calm down.



AND the results were:

Front 9 winner was Coenraad with 20 points

Back 9 winner was Roger Small with 19 points

2nd place with 2 excellent birdies was Jock

And the winner was ... dum dum dum Steve 'the winner' Reynolds, helped by the fact only 9 showed up.

Hey ho, take it when you can!


That's all folks, until the Charity Day next week.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Scores for Saturday 21 October 2023

Image
Adjusting to the wet conditions caused a bit of a challenge today for most and we had no birdies, which is very unusual. Average stableford score was down at 28.17 and gross average up at 96.8.  On the course today the first group required a ruling on the 8th regarding the replacement of a damaged ball. Roger Small felt that his ball had become damaged, presumably as a result of the bizarre flight of the ball from the tee resulting in it coming to rest some 30 yards from the tee in the short rough. He asked his playing partners if he was able to replace the ball as he believed it was damaged but was told that in the absence of visible damage to the ball he would need to replace the ball and continue to play the hole with said ball. After several minutes of discussion and receiving a shout from the group on the 6th hole to get a move on Roger proceeded to play the hole out with the "damaged" ball.  As with past questions regarding rules (picking and cleaning plugged ball last
Read more

Scores for Saturday 9 December 2023

Image
Rain, what rain? Well I think that is the wettest front 9 I've ever played and it was not easy. the course was squelchy under foot and it made for hard going especially on the greens. Still, 11 of us were not deterred, despite forecasts of heavy rain until 10am, a die-hard group turned out to wade around the course.  The rain did eventually stop and our back 9 was far more enjoyable than the front 9.  There were some birdies out there today, all on the back 9. Steve Reynolds (11) James Miller (18) and Peter Williams (14) Well done gents.  Our winner today turned out for once not having double booked (At least if he did double book he forgot and came to golf anyway!) Martin Lythgoe scored 33 points to win on countback from Steve Reynolds. Well done Martin.  Yes, that's right, Steve predictably came second with 33 points. He will now be sitting second in POTY and RTDB and joint second in the eclectic gross! Nice one Steve. The front 9 went to Roger Gibbs who turned out to take ad
Read more

Scores for Saturday 6 April 2024

Image
Middle of the green today! Windy again today, but that wasn't a problem! A nice warm brisk breeze from the south made it seem like we were driving into the wind for the most part today but we seemed to cope ok with that, it was the greens that were the problem. Even the best puts today were coming up short or swerving from the hole. All of them spent more time in the air than on the ground just bobbling along.  13 players set out today but only 12 returned. Jock was lost somewhere along the way leaving a 2-ball to wait patiently behind our 4 ball. Steve and Martin both made the most of the extra time they had (see below) Average scores were not great: 99.25 average gross score and 26.25 average stableford score. Judging from what I saw the putting was the biggest contributor to extra shots.  Only 2 birdies today. Martin Lythgoe on 10 and Brian Geddes on 18. Well done both! Still the extra time that Steve Reynolds had as a result helped him refocus for his back 9 and he came in our
Read more